If Dr. Seuss Ran A Party Business

By Mitch Zeltzer - Thursday, July 18, 2019

Life as a Party Pro should be great! All laughs, all smiles, all giggles, all play

But sadly for me this just isn’t so
There are a few people that simply must go!

So, have a seat
And let’s review
All the people
I’d like to say bye-bye to!

Have you ever met a GREE??
They’re as annoying as can be!

They call me once, they call me twice
With tons of questions, ask my advice

After all the Q&A is done
The GREE says “that’s so great, it sounds so fun!”

I send the details with my fee
And wait for confirmation from the GREE

“But I’m a GREE this cannot be,
Is this really the price for ME?”

“People are coming from far and wide
From hill-to-hill, from side-to-side.
Hundreds and thousands there will be
You’ll get great exposure, if you work for FREE!”

So trust me don’t take a call from GREE
cause GREE will always want you to work for free!

Bye-bye GREE
Go away.
Goodbye to you,
I say good day!

What about a DINK?
She’ll think and think and think and think

And when the party plans are finally set
She’ll change ALL the details, on that you can bet!

“Should we have snacks then cake or cake then drinks?”
It’s all too much for a DINK to think.

So the DINK makes a decision and tells me her choice
And hoping she’s done I say “my that sounds nice”

But of course the DINK changes her mind once again
She changes it not 1 time or 2 times, but TEN!!!

So if you link with a DINK who’s trying to think,
Just let DINK think and give a wink.

Bye-bye DINK
Go either which way
Goodbye to you,
I say good day!

Well now it’s time for us to talk about FAFF
Sometimes he’s actually good for a laugh.

He works with me
and he can be great.
But more often than not,
he just shows up late.

Of course that only happens when he turns up at all
When there’s no “family emergency” or car that has stalled.

So when your FAFF is no longer good for a laugh
It’s time for the FAFF to be off of your staff.

Bye-bye FAFF
It’s your last pay day
Goodbye to you,
I say good day!

Oooh, I bet you’ve met at least one of these
a little ZOASTER pressed against your knees?

I remind him, that to see the trick
He has to wait, he has to sit

“Stop scooching your way closer and closer
You’re on my lap little one move back you ZOASTER!”

So when a ZOASTER starts moving closer and closer
Just pick him up and put ‘em in the ZOASTER toaster!

Get off my stage
Goodbye to you,
I say good day!

Now, life as a Party Pro is sure to be grand!
Nothing but laughs and smiles, as planned
No reasons to anger, no reasons to sob
Until my spouse gets home and says: “Get a REAL job!”

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